autisticnotweird.com

I do what I’m good at, I’m appreciated for what I’m good at, and I know my place in the world is just as important and valuable as everyone else’s. Today, I know that like all other humans, I have strengths and weaknesses – and being autistic simply means having strengths and weaknesses in specific places. Today, I know more about how to avoid stepping into other people’s comfort zones (although I’m far from perfect), whilst also knowing that just because someone is offended doesn’t mean they (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn

I even remember one friend telling me “just for once, I’d like the chance to talk about the difficulties of raising my child without people telling me I’m wrong. If we only talk about the advantages without being open and honest about the struggles, the general public won’t believe autistic people need accommodations or services. Full disclosure: I’m often told I’m a father figure to numerous autistic young people, and I’d readily take a bullet for the young people I work with and/or know socially, but I’m not a parent. Please please please don’t be like the person in the “hating autism” article who said “I f***ing hate autism!” in response to being unfairly discharged by a professional… when it wasn’t actually their autistic child’s fault.

I was very good at persuading interview panels that my heart was in it, I’d work extremely hard, and I was motivated to build up young people’s self-esteem and love of learning, but there’d always be one candidate who’d just sit down and gave the correct answers. (Unless, of course, it’s one of those autism charities that despise autism, or think that the autism discussion is better led by a board of 100% non-autistic directors.) To those who think it’s sad that I would leave my autism off my CV/resume, remember that a CV isn’t a suitable place for spreading autism acceptance anyway – So you’ll probably hear me stumbling over a few answers here, but please don’t see that as a reflection of how well I’d perform at the job, because if I were to pass the interview I’d most likely be really good at it.

Let me be clear: when you tickle a child with learning difficulties (this includes academic high-flyers with social difficulties), you can either make them less vulnerable to abuse or more vulnerable to abuse, depending on what rules you have in place, what opportunities the child has to express their wishes, and what they are taught to expect from adults in return. I don’t want Eliza to grow up thinking that sentences like “stop doing that” give the other person a choice. I want her to understand that if she says stop and the other person doesn’t stop, then something is wrong. Stepping away from The Stop Rule for a moment, I’d like to share the details of a talk I have started giving to young individuals who struggle with saying no.