Steph Kempker

I waded through (maybe more than) my fair share of bad relationships, bad men, and bad situations. I stopped giving space to people who did not value me, and I stopped giving energy to anyone who depleted me, so that I could instead put my time towards the things that matter I love you, and I love me, and I’m so happy that I continued making the hard choices that kept me on the journey to meet you, and that I had the strength to wait for you, rather than give in to what was easy. We live our lives in a way that embraces the beauty and truth and joy and difficulties, because we want the full human experience.

I had no one to celebrate (or bemoan) the little insignificant details with, or (like one friend was so annoyed by) anyone who cared to ask me what I’d eaten that day. She couldn’t have known, but her message came at the perfect point, as that day I had been so sad and feeling so alone and missing and wishing for my mother so terribly. I laughed and cried at the same time as I read her text, so thankful for her, and for her thoughtfulness – but also that I’d been willing to be vulnerable in sharing something that had felt a bit small, and selfish, and ugly to me. You never know: a “small” painful reminder of the love you feel like you’ve lost could become a regular, heart-filling opportunity to soak in all the love you have.

And, if you’ve been a reader for a bit, you’ve probably noticed something is up, because I haven’t really been writing anything personal, which was the hallmark and reason for starting this blog: to be totally transparent and honest about expat life. I couldn’t be authentic, though, about my life (and thus couldn’t really write at all), because I was undergoing a huge and dramatic life change that I wasn’t sure how to wrap my head around for myself, let alone share with others. Now, I have limited but kind and cordial interaction with my ex-husband, and we’re waiting to see when the COVID-19 crisis will pass, when the courts will re-open, and when we will be able to become “officially” and legally divorced. I will write more about this in the future, because living as a single woman in Mexico (and in Puerto Vallarta specifically) is quite a different experience as compared to life as a married woman.

I went on a crazy search the next day, waking up early to search the secondhand stores, borrow dresses to try on from friends, and to hit up Liverpool. We drove out from Puerto Vallarta to Nuevo Vallarta (to pick up a pup) to La Cruz (to visit my bestie Jess who was at home with a big injury and to drop off some flowers) and then onto Punta Mita to spend the day at Barracuda (which I’d highly recommend). If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut in your career, I highly recommend trying to expand your training. 6 years later and after living in Bangkok, Rio de Janeiro, Mexico City, and Puebla, Steph is on to her next adventure and living in sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.