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I hunkered down and tried to pretend like I wasn’t limping and was on my feet in heels for eight hours that day, parking blocks away from the event, walking, standing, talking, and more pretending like I wasn’t in pain. —which is that YES it’s hard, of course it’s hard, the same way it is hard for anybody who has watched something slip from their grasp, something crumble, without their permission. But it is also, in a way, healing, because it reminds me that there is still pain, and pain is not a bad thing. It’s odd for me to think about what my pain might have been trying to whisper to me last night, what it is trying to whisper to me now, this morning.
To learn more about how to become soft enough to stay in love and strong enough to leave, join me for a LIVE event in Nashville, Tennessee. Yet as I walked away from everything I thought I had wanted, I remembered that steady, clicking mantra our teacher would sing in yoga class, time after time—more love, less fear, more of what you want in your life This is how we get strong enough to leave when staying is killing us, strong enough to stay when love needs us most, and strong enough to let go of the way we thought things would go, the way we assumed people should be, of the impossible expectations we had for ourselves and our lives. To learn more about how to become soft and strong enough to stay in love, join me for a LIVE event in Nashville, Tennessee.
The problem is that if you wait for permission or a paycheck to do your creative work, it’s no longer YOUR creative work. I don’t mean to say that some people don’t make a living doing creative things, but anyone who works in a creative field can tell you that the minute you start making money for your creative work, things change. Trust me, I get that this isn’t the most compelling way to invite you into a creative process, but I also wouldn’t be doing you any favors if I acted like there was a way to do your art without some chaos and confusion and inefficiency and wandering and PLAY. It’s the difference between sitting with your best friend on a couch trying to tell her the worst thing you’ve ever done, and standing on a stage in front of 3000 strangers doing the same thing.
I don’t know about you, but my life has not gone the way I thought it would go. From them we learn that the way of meaning is always a way of love, and that the way of love is tangled up with sacrifice, heartbreak, hardship and pain. I tried for years to be a good woman, a good friend, a good Christian, a good daughter a good wife… and the funny thing was, the harder I tried to be these things When you’re done hiding, done resisting, done blaming and making this about everybody else, you come into the light and discover that all the the opportunities you’ve been waiting for, all the love, all of the joy you thought was “out there” in the distant future is actually right here, right now.