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What to say to someone with a drinking problem? Where to begin! If you’re reading this post, you have likely been hurt, frustrated, concerned, angered, and/or scared by a loved one’s drinking. You’ve likely tried talking, yelling, cajoling, negotiating, looking the other way, believing their promise(s) to stop or cut down, but so far, nothing’s worked
Alcohol By Volume (ABV) can be very difficult to determine. (Another term you often hear related to ABV is “proof
The way I think of forgiveness is to let go of thinking a different outcome was possible and that’s because the horrific behaviors they exhibited are the outcomes of what went into building that person’s brain and their developing a substance use disorder (like alcoholism), which leads to thought #2. But before I move on to #2, it’s helpful to know there are five key risk factors that contribute to why a person develops a substance use disorder: genetics, childhood trauma (aka Adverse Childhood Experiences), mental illness, social environment, and early use (drinking or using before age 21). No one else can help that person heal from their brain tumor, only the person can, and if they don’t do what they can to treat it, their brain tumor will get worse, and as the tumor is impinging on parts of the brain as it grows, it will cause brain changes that change the person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When a person is chronically trying to cope with a loved one’s alcohol or other drug misuse/addiction behaviors, they most generally experience toxic stress and need help unwiring the reactionary, stress response related coping skills they’d adopted in order to stay “safe” in the relationship.
As today’s guest author, Kate Adermann, explains, “[t]he only thing worse than being caught up in active addiction is to live an abstinent life without having emotional sobriety. I invite you to read Kate’s article in which she describes what she did to achieve emotional sobriety and truly change her recovery and life. If I were to be happy in sobriety, I needed to change my outlook on life, the way I treated other people, and make an effort to live a pure, unselfish life. Lisa’s message is life-changing and life-affirming!