asouthernceliac.com

Yes, I’ve known this for a while— I’ve known my best friends for 15 and 13 years. As I focus on the quality of my friends, the quality of my time spent with them also comes into focus. If I’m having friends over, there’s the ever-present temptation to stress myself silly beforehand. Having quality friends helps the rejection thing.

However, I’ve always been a bit of a secret Methodist, and I’ve celebrated Lent alone since fourth grade, when I met a Methodist girl who would become a close friend. When you stop focusing on having the best stuff, the prettiest house, or the fanciest zip code, you can start creating community right where you are. It doesn’t matter if you forget to buy disposable cups and all your guests have to drink out of mugs (which is more eco-friendly anyway)! It doesn’t matter if your kid has rubbed their face on your sweater and your hair is still in a Mom-bun.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t have disposable cups. It didn’t matter that I forgot ice— It wasn’t a perfect party. My friend group won’t be picture perfect, and we may spend part of our parties sitting on the floor.

I don’t want to hurt people in my search for community. I can’t fix Community and societal leaders who prey upon our need to belong to something greater and twist it into hatred. But I can open up a space for people to belong, to be believed, and to share their hurts and joys. I’ve decided to look past my house’s lack of Pinterest perfection and invite people over for parties and coffee and play dates.