Geena Matuson

I see what you did there

No makeup

Receiving positive feedback on my life’s work in unexpected places—mostly because I’m finally sharing it all... but just not publicly 😂 So, I’m launching a YouTube and stuff.

I posted this throwback photo to my story without context, and am both shocked and flattered how many people believe this photo from 6 years ago is me today 💙 (Unless, I just looked older back then, too 😂 Nah tho...) My eyebrows were 👌🏽

New Year’s memories from we could go out in public and watch people dance around with giant dildos. #happynewyear #slutcracker

Happy New Year 🥳 Tonight I pet a bunny but instead took photos of my walk around the downtown area with peace protest signs and giant holiday decor then I ate a cheesesteak I am content and ready to own my power and share the reality of the possibility system we are in. #nye2020 #neonlights

So a jewish girl and an indigenous guy go for a walk on #Christmas... . We walked five miles, maybe more. Compensation for staying inside too long, we said. The creek walk was flooded as designed, and we only saw three others on the way, over three hours. The last time we did this #walk was over a year ago, as we walked home from Pride. ✨ We stopped to survey the sewage-ridden #lake. I said it reminded me of Venice, but worse. That sign gets me — women and children shouldn’t eat fish from the lake, but “others,” feel free 😂 We got takeout and watched ‘Scream Queens,’ and dove into his studies on capitalism and nutrition. I definitely wore the wrong shoes for the walk, but glad I went 🎁 #happyholidays #mood #flood #nature #newyorkwinter #onondaga #solitary

I know people uncomfortable with emotional stability. They have different jobs, ages, backgrounds. Some, unaware of what they’re saying. Others hear themselves, but don’t know how to slow down or feel safe doing so. I get it; that’s my life. Flying alone since age 6, carted to different places, no rules; inconsistency. I built external places for myself, communities, projects, businesses — disrupted, abandoned as I moved to the next. But I needed to build an internal place. . I’ve always wanted to just, sit. When people spoke of traveling, I’d say, “I just like to be somewhere, and sit.” They’d laugh. I didn’t hear myself. . #Words are a #tool that play a central role in our lives, yet we don’t really use them to our advantage. Words help us #communicate how we feel as humans from inside out, but we often use them to prescribe how we “should” feel. If we’re moving or speaking fast, we’re not listening to how we feel; we prescribe how we “should” feel, instead. But, that doesn’t change our #feelings. . While we subconsciously believe moving quickly bypasses perceived discomfort, we’ve actually chosen to stay in one place — stuck in our internal discomfort. It’s not necessarily safe, but it _is_ familiar. . How do you build without understanding the tools? . A business owner recently told me he ‘didn’t like living by other people’s schedules; he couldn’t make dedicated plans in his own life.’ While these words relay a problem, the same words can also offer a solution. Just flip them. Say, ‘I can make dedicated plans in my life, and schedule others in. . _I’m_ pushing myself — I’m the one to give myself permission to slow down. “Slowing down” doesn’t mean you’re not moving ahead; it’s the opposite. By slowing down, you’re taking time to be present with You. Hear yourself. Put You in your schedule. . It’s scary, it’s different. But the outcome helps you build your own safety and security. #Advocate to yourself; you deserve a safe place — you can build it. Put yourself first, sit and listen. Make time for you. Those who will support you and your journey will show up and help you, too. . Taken pre-pandemic, new boots, blue light glasses 🤓 #flipthescript #language

Mona Lisa Meets Botox: A Love Story in Three Parts. Subtitle: That’s Just My Face Ugh 😂 Footage from my lighting tests—lighting is key, haha. And nah Mona Lisa doesn’t need work done she’s stayed fine since time 👌🏽

Finally found energy to test setups for video! 🥳 It took a while, though — can you tell I was glazing? 😂 . I wanted depth, decent lighting and, of course, good audio. Light in this space has been the hardest part. I tilt or bump the equipment a hair, and I’m suddenly plunged into shadow. High ceilings and no walls makes this such a tricky place for bouncing light. Almost there, though. See the progression of some lighting tests clockwise from top-right.👌🏽 . #lighting #contentcreation #studioshoot #videoproduction #talkinghead #interviewready #lightingdesign

Yo I love me and all I do to support me as a person. I worked really fucking hard to get here. Put yourself and your needs before those of the market, and those people and ideas keeping you down. Without you, those things you build have nothing to stand on. You do you, so you can go from a struggle to survive, to truly thrive. . #mondaymotivation #iloveme #redhair #thrive

Haha, I took some greasy chill photos of me pretending to read. 😂 But for real, I read books for pleasure, and to learn about history. Or, science fiction, and how history and science impact the future. And, scary stories and mysteries, haha. Always open to recommendations!📕 . No real method, I just pick stuff up and get it; I go to library book sales, those $1/bag deals. It’s kinda exciting, like a mystery gift to me 😂 A favorite from childhood was “Behind the Attic Wall” by Sylvia Cassidy, about an orphaned girl sent to live with distant relatives, who instead finds the meaning of family in her dolls. There’s a twist guys, it’s really not lame 😅 . I usually read multiple books at once, in a rotation depending on my mood. You know, do I need a book that has Hallmark movie-feels ✨, or can I go deep into a book about Hell 🔥 and mythology tonight? I don’t think to talk about books all too often, despite writing them 😆 I used to read on the train going into Boston, and a favorite was Amir Aczel’s “Pendulum,” about Foucault’s personal history and his scientific discoveries — proof of earth’s rotation 🌍. Another is “Orlando,” because Virginia Woolf – I also love historical fiction. . More specifically, I love art historical fiction 🖼, and I’m currently reading this book “The Lost Painting” on Caravaggio’s works. A favorite of mine is “The Lady and the Unicorn,”🦄 which dives into the entire process of producing a tapestry in the middle ages, and the innerworkings of feudalism. Another book I like is “Alias Olympia,” a modern woman’s quest to learn more about herself through her research into Victorine Meurent, artist in her own right and model for Manet’s “Olympia,” a confrontational (and controversial) painting exhibited at the 1865 Paris Salon. . So that’s me talking about books. I guess I also have a color scheme going on right now, haha. I try to read before bed, and then I listen to Gregorian chants, haha wow who the fuck am I 😂 . #books #arthistory #locallibrary #bookstagram #bookrecommendations #caravaggio #foucault #edouardmanet #scifibooks

Creating a world within another system, that’s what I thought I was doing. Rather, I was retreating to worlds in my own head, dissociating from my painful and small system. As I grew into adolescence, I entered into reality as I saw it; I thought my small system was as “it” — was reality — but no. We’re all in this _huge_ system of possibility, and we so often stifle ourselves and those around us by recreating smaller systems with which we’re familiar. “Familiar,” though, isn’t always good or healthy, and those systems trap us in confining cycles. Bad relationships with others, and with ourselves. What was once a way to cope and survive became unsustainable out here in the bigger system. . I’ve never been afraid to dive in and do the human work. But when I recreated small systems in which to do that work, I wasn’t diving into new territory; I’ve been butting my head against a wall. Being in my own space, slowing down has allowed me to put down my walls and finally focus solely on myself. Give to myself. Work for and on myself. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’m no longer trying to convince others how I feel in order to “get” their support — I know how I feel, and now I’m going give to myself. . For a person to rebuild _any_ system means we have incredible power to break out and build anew. I now see and accept my full power. I want this, I want all of it — I want to use my power and change myself and the world for the better. I am a powerful creator. ✨🔥💥🌟 . I’ve always loved art history. Entire centuries shifted by art, perception and new ways of seeing. What starts inside a person transcends by sharing, communicating with themselves. We interact with this large space and those in it. I’m no longer going recreate small, familiar yet unhealthy systems on the outside, nor get caught in others’. I’m going to build myself on the inside, and carry this energy to the rest of the world, building something to help others change their space and connect to themselves and others across the larger system we are all in, together. . #michaelangelo #arthistory #healing #possibilitysystem #artshirts #redhair #hazeleyes #selfportait #breakthecycle #beinghuman #healthyspace

I never really cried much until I realized that it helped me clear my head. ✨ Crying is our body’s way of processing and releasing feelings, information from our internal or external environment. Confronting, parsing and processing the information that new experiences bring helps me to move forward in reality, rather than sitting on — that is, not processing — information from the past. I can then release the feelings I no longer need, once weighting me down to the past. Crying and pain are hard to deal with, but I’ve done this so many times, I know what to expect on the other side — clarity, freedom, understanding. Ultimately, wisdom. 😌 . Now when I cry, it’s such an odd mix of emotions; I’m crying because I’m processing new information and feeling pain, but I’m simultaneously happy 😂 because I know this work takes strength, and I know I’ll be better for it after I go through what I need to go through. You just have to start. Like, I’ve wasted enough time and energy on the pain, the experience itself; I want to move forward and shed the layers sitting on top of me. . I love being in my own space where I can expand and see myself in front of me. I can confront and accept, process and evolve. As I say, we are human systems, and we must analyze, optimize and iterate in order to grow. I’m able to listen to those around me, incorporate their feedback, and help myself. I am looking into the light 💡 . Plus, when I cry, my lips swell up huge and my eyes get lighter in color. I’m an attractive crier, what can I say? 😆 I take photos of myself when I’ve cried, sometimes. I like to document life. . Taken yesterday — the first day I joined addicts anonymous groups. ❤️ . . . #mentalhealthmatters #crying #feelings #feelingstrong #newbeginnings #addictionrecovery #beinghuman #selfcare #healthandwellness #overcome #clarity #mentalclarity #emotionalhealth

It’s okay to slow down and rest 🙏