Karry Davis

* at the urgent care they told me that they thought i was having a miscarriage but that they were going to draw my blood to see if my levels were going up at all. i went in to his office & he showed me the ultra sound & told me he believed i was having an ectopic pregnancy. tubal pregnancy are in the fallopian tube & are very dangerous cause it can cause your tube to burst & destroy your tube which makes it difficult in the future to get pregnant. he told us that after looking more at the ultrasound & my hcg numbers going up so much that he believed it was actually a tubal pregnancy.

i'm not acne prone, however when i do get acne its on the cystic side of things which really sucks. especially because i was a born picker & picking at cystic acne is the absolute worst thing to do. i learned the importance of washing my face morning & night & adopted a dual-wash system. i always felt like my makeup didn't get all taken off from my face wash, but the dual system makes my skin squeaky clean. i then follow up with the YTTP wash, i use a witch hazel toner because i don't think my skin needs something that will dry it with an acid.

my mom, siblings & i had gone up a week before christmas to see him & say goodbye, but it was very surreal when we heard that he has finally passed. he had battled with melanoma for the last year & a half which struck especially close to home because that is what my dad died from almost 19 years ago. it was a very bittersweet experience attending the funeral, it brought up a lot of emotions but, it was also comforting being surrounded by our family. all of my 28 cousins were able to make it to utah for the funeral, some of which i haven't seen since i was a kid, so it brought some happiness to the occasion.

For some reason this is a fact that I was clinging onto when the miscarriage happened, thinking that it made it better because we hadn't decided it was time for another baby, I used it as a shield to protect me, like it didn't matter as much because we weren't officially "trying" He told me that it is completely normal to have the affects from a miscarriage last a long time & that the first period after a miscarriage is often just as bad as the initial miscarriage. It felt like something so personal that I wanted it just to be ours, I didn't want to hear all of the apologies, I didn't want people to look at me with sorrow or pity & I didn't want anyone to ask when we would try again. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about it, like the fact that If I hadn't had a miscarriage I wouldn't be too far off from my due date, then I think about my life right now with an added baby & whoosh!