Jill Smokler

I’m trying to let my kids experience high school in their own way, on their own terms, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to influence their choices a little bit based on my own cherished memories. I want my kids to walk into a high school gym, wearing clothes that make them feel adult and fancy, and feel like a prince and princess during the Homecoming Dance. I want my kids to experience high school and all it has to offer them in the same way I did. But I want my kids to know that the annoyances of high school, those times when rejection stung and mean girls seemed to win really do fade.

I can’t be the only parent who dropped her kid off at a school dance and wondered how exactly it costs hundreds of dollars for her kid to attend a dance in his own high school gym. Here’s how to send your high school son to a school dance in 50 easy steps: 1). Reminisce about high school dances and try to convey how much fun you had in your high school gym. When he turns and looks back at you, smiles and says, “I will, Mah, don’t wait up,” hold the ugly cry back until he walks through the high school gym doors. 49).

It was fleeting, lasting only milliseconds, but for a tiny moment in time, I could see the way my father’s features had melded with my son’s. My teenage self had the privilege of getting to know her father and to this day, I still laugh at the thought of my father planning our road trips with a dog-eared Rand McNally. It was those road trips that made me see my father as a man, flawed and complicated, funny and compassionate, and it’s where we forged our adult relationship. Of course, they’ll always remember him fondly but they’ll never know what it’s like to forge their own adult relationship with him.

As I’ve raised my kids, I’ve wanted to set an example of healthy living. Though I’ve always tried to keep my hopes and aspirations for my kids to myself because I never want either of my teens to pursue something just because they want to please their parents, I’ve always secretly hoped that one of my kids would follow in my footsteps. As she grew, we enrolled her on local running teams and she’d run alongside my husband and I when we’d enter 5K races. Over the years, as we’ve watched her running talent blossom, she would tell us that running is where she feels the most comfortable in her skin.