Christie Ferrari

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when they’re talking behind your back. -I see you’re still working on being a better person, good luck with that.  This response shifts the focus away from you and onto the person spreading the gossip, suggesting they have more personal growth to do. It makes them consider their own behavior while you maintain composure in a subtle yet assertive way.  -I heard that you said XYZ, I value our relationship, and I’d like to understand your perspective.  This response directly and constructively addresses the gossip without resorting to accusations or blame. You’re able to preserve the relationship while emphasizing the value of it to create an opportunity for open communication. It also invites the other person to explain their perspective, which can de-escalate the situation while also setting a clear boundary for future interactions. Using this response helps you take control of the situation, demonstrates maturity and creates an opportunity for resolution.  -Say nothing, and let them watch you succeed.  This response is a powerful yet subtle response to someone talking behind your back. You focus on your action instead of your reaction and shifts the attention from the gossip to your own accomplishments. It also implies that you’re secure in your abilities and unbothered by negativity - which is usually what fuels gossip. You also prove them wrong since success is often the best rebuttal to gossip and criticism and is a strategy that can be particularly satisfying when executed successfully. Need more help with assertive communication or relationships? Book a 1:1 with me for coaching sessions or a 15-minute call for personalized comebacks for a specific situation. If you’re here for OUTFIT details, comment outfit & I’ll send you a personal message with links. Video was staged, thanks Monroe & Rachael for being in the background to help the point of this video come across. Xo,  Dr. C

Explanations below. 3 comebacks to use when someone offers you unsolicited advice, part 2.  -I’ll give that the consideration it deserves.  This response acknowledges that you heard the person and their advice without being dismissive. You’re subtly implying that you’ll think about what they said but aren’t necessarily going to follow their advice without being aggressive. You’re setting a clear boundary while remaining polite. Essentially, this is an example of a diplomatic way of saying, "Thanks for your input, but I'm not interested in discussing this further at the moment.” -"Thanks for the input, I've already got a handle on it.” This response acknowledges the other person and shows that you appreciated their thoughts and time while maintaining a positive and respectful tone. It also directly communicates that you have the situation under control, are setting a boundary, and don’t require further advice without being rude or dismissive.  -“I’ll consider if it works for me.”  This response shows respect without being defensive while also implying a sense of control. You also set a boundary and are politely suggesting that the conversation is over for now without being aggressive. Need more help with assertive communication or want help coming up with personalized comebacks for an upcoming situation? Book a 1:1 with me, link in my bio & if you’re here for outfit details, comment OUTFIT & I’ll send you a personalized message with links.  Xo, Dr. C  P.S. this video was taken at a family & kids party.

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when someone says you’re so dramatic. -Is it more dramatic to express my feelings or to ignore them? This assertive response shows confidence in your feelings and your right to express them without apology while questioning the validity of what they just accused you of. It also implies that it’s healthier and more mature to express your feelings than to suppress them. It draws attention to their discomfort with emotional expression, making them reconsider their stance. You’re not only defending yourself but also initiating a conversation about emotional intelligence and the importance of open communication. It can be a powerful tool for setting boundaries and maintaining self-respect. -What exactly sounds dramatic? This response deflects unfair criticism while encouraging more specific and productive feedback. By asking for clarification, it implies that the accusation is unfounded and vague while you’re able to preserve composure, maintain your calm, and avoid escalation. -Saying that doesn’t make my feelings less real. This response asserts the validity of your emotions and directly challenges the dismissal of your feelings. While someone may not understand or agree with your emotional response, it doesn’t mean your feelings are any less real or important. This response also redirects the focus of the conversation to your feelings and how they deserve to be acknowledged. This response can also catch the other person off guard, especially if they were expecting you to become defensive or apologize for your reaction. It can also force them to reconsider their own dismissive attitude. Need more help with assertive communication or want personalized comebacks? Book a 15-minute call with me (longer 1:1’s also available) and if you’re here for outfit details, comment outfit & I’ll send you a link to this dress from @shopbop! Xo, Dr. C

Liquid courage courtesy of @unavodka As for a hack to make new friends? Reach out to 3-5 of your acquaintances or friends, invite them out and ask them to each bring a friend that no one knows. Instead of wishing you had more friends, be vulnerable and take action so you can change your narrative. Once there, practice deep breathing & show genuine interest in the other person by listening to them and asking them about them. When asking questions, begin them with “what” because they’ll keep a conversation going longer. Here are 3 small talk questions to help: -What’s been the weirdest thing to happen to you lately? -What’s been keeping you busy this week? -What’s something that made you smile today? Never ask more than 3 questions in a row because you want this to be a 2-sided dialogue and for the other person to also ask you questions too. And when someone shares something, ask them a question about what they said instead of just switching the conversation topic. Drink responsibly. #PourMeUNA

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when they say “I never said that” & are gaslighting you.  -Be more clear next time.  This response can be disarming and subtly implies that the communication breakdown was their fault. It helps set a boundary by stating a clear expectation for future communication and that you won’t tolerate being misled. You also maintain calm and avoid escalating the situation, which is crucial when dealing with a gaslight. It also undermines their control, challenges their narrative and reinforces your confidence in your own reality. -That’s what I heard.  This assertive response helps you maintain your stance without becoming defensive or accusatory while forcing the other person to either continue with gaslighting or clarify their position. It’s simple and direct and there’s no room for misinterpretation and it avoids escalating the situation. It also preserves your sanity while protecting your well-being.  -We remember things differently.  This response helps acknowledge their denial without directly accusing them of lying. It implies your memory is valid and that you are not imagining things. It helps shift the focus away from proving your point and towards the subjectivity of your memory while opening the door for further discussion if the other person is willing to engage in a respectful conversation.  Need more help with assertive communication or relationships? Book a 1:1 with me via my link in bio & if you’re here for outfit details, comment outfit & I’ll send you a personal link! Xo, Dr. C

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when they ask why are you so dressed up? -Better overdressed than overlooked. This response demonstrates assertive confidence. It implies a strong sense of self and personal style. It suggests that the speaker is comfortable in their own skin and doesn’t care about others’ opinions. It also turns a potential criticism into a positive statement while cleverly shifting the focus from being overly dressed to the alternative of being ignored. -Thank you, it’s habit. This response helps deflect the criticism and acknowledges the comment without engaging in a defensive or argumentative manner. It implies confidence because it suggests that you’re comfortable and confident in your style choices. You also maintain composure and it avoids escalating the situation while keeping the interaction light and polite. It also shows self-awareness and implies that you’re aware of your tendency to dress up and have accepted it as a personal style. Essentially, it’s a concise, polite, and assertive way to handle an unsolicited comment about your appearance without giving the other person too much power in the interaction. -Why not? This response deflects the question and shifts the focus away from your attire and places it back on the person who made the comment. It implies confidence and a sense of self-assuredness. You’re not justifying your clothing choice; you’re simply questioning the question itself. Essentially, it’s a concise and effective way to assert your personal style without engaging in a lengthy explanation or argument. It’s a subtle way to say, “I’m comfortable with my appearance, and I don’t need to explain myself.” Need more help with assertive communication or communication skills? Book a 1:1 with me and if you’re here for outfit details, comment outfit and I’ll send a link straight to your inbox! Xo, Dr. C

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when you get ghosted.  -If this is a pattern. Quietly move on, say nothing and move on. No response is a response. This preserves your dignity, you set boundaries, and it protects your peace and energy by being able to move forward.  -Hey! Wanted to pop up to the top of your inbox.  Reach out once. Give them the benefit of a doubt, people are busy and can forget.  -Hey! Let me know when you get a second.  This response is direct and clear and it explicitly states that you’re waiting for a response. It’s low-pressure and it doesn’t demand an immediate response, allowing the other person some flexibility. It also avoids sounding accusatory or demanding. Reach out only once. Need more help with assertive communication or communication skills then book a 1:1 with me and if you’re here for outfit details, comment outfit & I’ll send you a link!  Xo,  Dr. C

Comment GLASSES for a link to shop frames & find an eye doctor near you 👓.   One thing no one told me was that my vision could change after having a baby. Blurry days aren’t just exhaustion.   Thankfully, @vspvisioncare made it easy to find an eye doctor and helped me get beautiful new frames without breaking the bank. After my eye exam at Visionworks, I just looked for the VSP heart logo stamped on the lens and knew that those frames would qualify for extra savings. My new frames will be here soon and those stamped lenses will be replaced with my new, updated prescription. #VSPVisionCare #BacktoSchool #MomHack

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when someone is being rude to you, part 5.  I’m surprised you think that’s appropriate.  This response is assertive without being aggressive. It directly addresses the inappropriate  behavior without escalating the situation. It challenges their behavior and it implies that their behavior is unexpected and unacceptable. It also preserves your dignity while maintaining a calm and composed demeanor. Try decaf next time… This response is disarming, unexpected and might throw the person off guard. It doesn’t escalate the situation by being overly confrontational and it’s a clever way to subtly imply that the way they’re acting is rude. This is a good response to use with someone that you know that is intentionally and deliberately being rude to you.  Is something bothering you?  This response deflects the response and it shifts the focus from their rude behavior to how they’re feeling and invite a conversation about what’s upsetting them. It preserves your composure and allows you to maintain calm and collected.  Need more help with assertive communication or with comebacks for an upcoming event you have, book a 1:1 with me (link in my bio) & if you’re here for outfit details, comment Outfit & I’ll send you links! Xo, Dr. C

Comment BED for a link to this budget friendly @maxandlilyfurniture 🛏️ & I would be lying if I said today wasn’t bittersweet. I stalled getting my son a big boy bed because I was sad that he was growing up. But seeing him so excited for his new bed makes me so happy and proud. Even though letting go can be hard, watching them grow is one of the best parts about parenthood. Bed is also linked on my @shop.ltk page & here https://liketk.it/4LfhP

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when they ask when are you having kids.  -when the time is right. I’ll let you know.  This simple response helps sets a boundary and it politely but firmly indicates that the question is personal and you’re not comfortable discussing it in detail. You maintain control and are letting the other person know assertively and politely that you’ll tell them when you’re ready to share information, if ever. It also doesn’t commit to a timeline or provide any false hope, which can be a relief if you’re facing fertility challenges or simply haven’t made a decision.  -I enjoy my freedom too much.  This response sets a clear boundary, it directly addresses the question without providing any personal information. It’s assertive and respectful while preserves your privacy and avoids discussing personal reproductive plans. It’s also empowering because it reserves your right to prioritize your own life and choices. If they were to ask you after the fact if you’ll ever have kids, you can then say: “We’ll see what the future holds” or “we’ll see.” Then you can change the conversation.  -“I already have one” (laugh) & point at your partner. Then redirect the conversation.  This response catches the asker off guard with humor and an unexpected response. It helps deflect the conversation and shifts the focus away from you onto your partner, subtly implying that the question is inappropriate or unnecessary. It also indirectly communicated that you’re not comfortable discussing your personal plans while avoiding creating tension or awkwardness while still addressing the question.  Need more help with relationships or assertive communication? Book a 1:1 with me & if you’re here for outfit details, comment OUTFIT & I’ll send you links.  Xo,  Dr. C

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use to stop an argument. -No one has to be right or wrong. It’s okay to disagree. This response helps moves the conversation away from who’s right and wrong and towards understanding each other’s viewpoints. It acknowledges that disagreements are natural and doesn’t dismiss anyone’s feelings. It also creates space for a more productive discussion where both sides can be heard -Are we arguing or how can I help answer a question? By questioning if it’s an argument, it can prompt both of you to take a step back and assess the situation. It can help determine if the other person is genuinely seeking information or simply trying to start a fight. Reframing the situation as a question can encourage a more civil and productive conversation. -I hadn’t realized that perspective. I’m sorry. This response shows you were listening and are open to the other persons viewpoint and it takes responsibility for your part in the argument and if you hurt someone’s feelings during the exchange. If feelings weren’t hurt, you can replace I’m sorry for: “you’re right, I hadn’t realized that perspective.” Need more help with assertive communication or relationships? Book a 1:1 with me via my link in bio & if you’re here for outfit details, comment OUTFIT & I’ll send you outfit details straight to your inbox. Xo, Dr. C

Comment OUTFIT for links to @tbahama outfits. -Be spontaneous & try something new once a week. Novelty creates attraction. Novelty triggers the release of dopamine, a feel good neurotransmitter. When you experience something new with your partner, your brain gets a dopamine boost, creating a sense of excitement and reward. This strengthens the bond between you and makes you want to repeat the experience. So break free from the predictable dinner and a movie routine and plan a surprise staycation, getaway, or try something new. This can be big or small - from trying some different for dinner to massages at home. -Do small things for them to show you care, like putting down the phone & talking to each other. Little acts communicate that you care and putting the phone down shows your partner they’re important enough to put your distractions aside and give them your full attention. -Dress up for each other, it shows you’re making an effort. Putting in the extra effort to look nice for your partner communicates that they’re still special and it validates their importance in your life and shows you appreciate them.

Explanations below ⬇️ 3 comebacks to use when they say you’re too sensitive. -And it sounds like you’re dismissing how I feel. This response helps shifts the focus. Instead of getting defensive about being sensitive, it points out the other person’s behavior – dismissing your feelings. It also directly addresses the core problem – a lack of respect for your emotions while creating an opportunity for a more productive conversation about why you felt the way you did. Overall, this comeback is assertive and keeps the focus on healthy communication. -What makes you say I’m being too sensitive? This response makes them explain themselves: it puts the burden of explanation on the other person. They have to clarify what they said that you took too sensitively. This can be disarming because sometimes they might not have thought it through. it also gives you space to understand and buys you time to process what was said and why it might have affected you. It also opens the door for communication and shows you’re willing to listen and understand their perspective, which can lead to a more productive conversation. -Better too sensitive than insensitive. This response shifts the focus and takes the focus off of you being defensive and puts it on the value of sensitivity in general. It implies that having feelings and empathy is a good thing. It also directly calls out what they said. If you need more help with being assertive or communication skills, book a 1:1 with me & if you’re here for outfit details, comment OUTFIT & I’ll send you links! Xo, Dr. C

Comment Hair for links used from @completelybare & explanation ⬇️: This is my hair removal routine to help get rid of unwanted body & facial hair & slow down hair regrowth. It’s a quick confidence boost & helps ground me in the present during busy days. The key to practicing mindfulness is being intentional in every step in a routine and engaging your senses. Engage touch by noticing the coolness of the razor against your skin, the texture of your creams, and the gentle pressure as you shave/apply creams. Engage your sense of smell and appreciate the scent of your cream. Engage sound by listening to the water fall during your shower or by listening to calming music. Engage sight by by watching your hand stroke your skin as you apply your creams. Having a consistent routine can also provide predictable structure to your day. Completing familiar tasks gives you a sense of accomplishment, reminding you that you have control over some aspects of your life. This feeling of control can be incredibly calming amidst the unknown. Routines can also eliminate the need to make constant decisions, freeing up mental energy to cope with the unexpected. This routine can also be a grounding ritual, bringing you back to the present moment when your mind seems to be wandering or are feeling overwhelmed from a busy and chaotic day. Products used: -Easy off foaming hair removal spray helps you remove unwanted hair on your body without shaving. -CTRL + Hair + DEL Hair Removal Cream for facial hair with a pen applicator. -Don’t grow there body moisturizer helps slow down hair regrowth while moisturizing your skin.