Hayli Rutledge

He sat with me in the dark corners of bars for late shifts, we shared the stage in the stand-up comedy scene, he worked tirelessly with me to build a successful entertainment company, he helped me articulate new dreams until they were well-rehearsed, and he never stopped supporting me even when time and physical distance were working against us. Unfortunately, it took Jimmy’s tragic death to finally have the courage to bring this book of poetry to life. It merely needed immersive travels and creative exploration as its foundation to finally emerge Mother Nature (September 2015) was the first time I felt aligned with my dreams. The poems I curated for this section were written while grounding myself in nature, letting go of past lovers (Someday), exploring new lands, meditating regularly (Shwedagon), healing from sexual trauma, understanding the power of feminine energy (Cosmic Siren’s Song), and finding new soulmates in far corners of the world

I swung my unshaved legs over the edge of a bed tangled with need-to-be-washed sheets and stretched in way that reminds me I’ve been sitting in stillness for twenty-two days. I have smelled them every sunny morning when I sit beneath the windchime grateful to witness the world blooming. Where I’m suddenly realizing the creaks from my bedside stretching are actually fatigue finally creeping in. I stopped wearing deodorant, but continued sweltering in the sun, and couldn’t smell the body baking beneath it.

We continued into the rural countryside when I found a familiar face—the man from the Albergue in Ontón who asked about my reason for walking and wished me godspeed before we continued on to Castro. Basile and I decided to take a shortcut that would follow the highway instead of the trail which meant parting ways with Jeanne. I decided to climb higher while Basile went to explore some trails along the cliffs and a few abandoned structures. When he finally caught up, he told me above the sea birds and the cliffside and how easy it would be to spend time here.

The skin around the blisters between my toes was inflamed and Basile commented on them possibly being infected. A woman at a desk was speaking to a man and with Basile’s help in translated, we explained the issues with my feet. She gave me a swatch of second skin and showed me how to apply it to the awkward position at the bottom of my feet. Between the rumor about the bed bugs and my inability to walk, I didn’t think it was right to take a bed at the Albergue.