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The idea came to me that it would be fun to hide a small but perfectly formed garden underneath an enormous bowler hat (it started as a teacup but moved on quite quickly). The third was another sound garden variation but this time at the Moscow Flower Show (about which I have written many times) which was a bit more of a challenge mostly because Russians do things a little differently to us. While all this labour was going on I was absent and only appeared for three days (to do judging and, as previously mentioned, swanning around) to enjoy the garden, absorb a bit of football atmosphere and to bask in the glory. The fourth was another excursion for the hat, this time at Tatton Park flower Show.

My other major childhood decision was whether to have a Secret Sam or a Johnny Seven for my 8th birthday. The sensible decision was to get a train as that way I might be able to do something else like write or work or even sleep. A complicated itinerary was arranged involving an early train from Banbury, a change in Birmingham, another in Leeds and arrival in Harrogate in time for a meeting at eleven. My train home was supposed to be direct from York to Banbury but something else went wrong and we were all turfed out in Birmingham and had to run for another train that was then massively overstuffed – and delayed! .

All that petrolhead stuff leaves me a little cold and I look forward with pleasure to the self driving car. Now I am driving to Sussex where I am teaching a day for Sarah Raven at Perch Hill. Nice day not very nice drive home – for some reason It is really nice to be back in front of the fire in time for soup and

They have billboards (probably at least three of them just outside Ebbing, Missouri) which are analysed by eye tracking technology to see which bit catches the customer’s eye – the flower centres are dulled down so that you look mostly at the logo rather than the flowers. There are YouTube videos of people excitedly unboxing the Plants – apparently, and this is a phenomenon that had passed me by, there is a great demand from people who like to watch other people unwrap things. They are, in a way, exploiting the modern addiction to online shopping: a substantial percentage of their orders come in overnight when insomniacs cruise the internet looking for things that they don’t really need but want delivered very quickly. These plants will liven up a terrace or a window box for a while but, like new year resolutions, once the initial burst of enthusiasm has passed they will probably be dead by Christmas at the latest – usually they succumb when people go off on their summer holidays.