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It’s like you don’t have a métier, you know? And when I feel like my hair needs a break, I use Mixa Baby Shampoo, because it’s so gentle. It’s a little stronger, so I just use it in my hair. It’s so calming—you’re in your bed, and you’re like, ‘Ah!

Right now I’m using Elta MD UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF 46 for that, though I have to say I still haven’t found my ‘The One’ when it comes to sunscreen, so I welcome any and all recommendations. I’m on the K-beauty grind, so when I’m inspired I’ll do a double cleanse with jojoba oil. I don’t know if it’s true, but letting it sit there allows for a one-episode The Office re-watch in the middle of my routine, so I roll with it. For concealer I use NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer, or the Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation strategically blended over my spots, since it’s highly pigmented.

Trader Joe’s Enrich lotion has SPF 15 in it, so I use that, and in the summertime I just use regular spray sunscreen. When I tone my face, I can tell—it feels like I’ve been eating good, like I haven’t been drinking alcohol. Like, I’ll wake up, have my hot water with lemon, have a cup of water, and then I’ll start oil pulling while I’m getting my coffee ready, or before I get in the shower or whatever. On days I’m not washing my hair, I’ll still use the leave-in conditioner.

The steps were as follows: an almond scrub, an acid peel, and a calming mask of no importance. Please enjoy this excerpt from an earlier story to see why: “I know this is dramatic, but I have this irrational fear of routinely creating deep micro-tears, having them heal, and my skin inadvertently building up a thick layer of scar tissue. It would catch on and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in heavy prosthetic makeup, would be cast to play me in my made-for-TV biopic, The Keloid That Could. You can expect that kind of downtime with more invasive procedures like lasers or vampire facials—treatments administered by medical professionals rather than a well-meaning bloke that eats cereal out of measuring cups.