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Spirit Being 👩🏾💼BA | Founder @theariseafricafdn @taloje @theadultingnomad 📰CNN Featured 📍🇳🇬>🇳🇪>🇬🇧>🇺🇸>🇨🇦 ▪️Travel | Career | Identity | Lifestyle
📌3 things I’ve learned in the last 3 decades: 1. You cannot be friends with everyone, and that’s ok. This is because your core values, idiosyncrasies and vision will naturally weed out those that are not aligned with you. So don’t be hard on yourself when you experience friendship break ups. It’s part of life. 2. The more you learn to master yourself (emotions, intuition, triggers etc.) in relation to others, the easier it gets to navigate the battles you’ll face in life. 3. No man is an island. Your success in life is correlated with your ability to ask for help and leverage the wisdom & support from others. #BirthdayMood 🍰 📸 IG hubby: Newly wed Californian bride. Her hubby was willing to share for the day 🥰 📍Krka Waterfalls, Croatia . . . . . . #SelfAcceptance #SelfMastery #Friendships #SoloFemaleTraveler #Krka #KrkaWaterfalls #SplitCroatia #VisitCroatia🇭🇷
“It’s a tricky situation” Over the weekend, I led a workshop at Ted Roger’s School of Management @tmubbsa for its inaugural BBSA conference. The business problem/scenario I presented to the students was to figure out a way to help employee X navigate being undermined in the workplace. After considering the context, one conclusion that they all unanimously came to was the need for psychological safety. In other words, if the employee didn’t feel safe enough to speak up or address concerns without fear of retaliation, they should hold back. This also applies to all kinds of interpersonal relationships. If you cannot be candid in your friendships, then you don’t really have a healthy relationship. It’s a charade and you’re simply playing a character. It’s important to feel safe to be vulnerable, and have people that have the capacity to listen to and hold space for your experience. Psychological safety is what makes a tricky situation easier to navigate. It’s what propels you to have a difficult conversation to hopefully mend and strengthen a relationship. Do you have psychological safety in your relationship(s)? #PsychologicalSafety #Belonging #FriendshipsGoals #SelfAcceptance #FemaleSpeakers #BlackSpeakers
Prioritize your character over your reputation. It’s better to like who you are behind closed doors than who you present to the world. Character is who you are. Reputation is who people think you are. 📸/IG hubby: Fellow black queen and walking tour buddy. British & also passionate about personal development. . . . . . . . #VisitMadrid #CoreValues #PersonalDevelopment #SelfAcceptance #MadridTravel #Spain❤️ #SoloFemaleTraveler #BlackSoloTravel #EuropeTravels
Are you planning to visit Porto? 🇵🇹✈️ Here are 10 things to consider adding to your itinerary: ✨Free walking tour or Tuk Tuk tour ✨Boat cruise on the Douro river ✨Shop local at the Riberia District ✨See the sunset at Jardim do Morro ✨Try Francesinha ✨Most beautiful McDonald’s ✨Sao Bento railway station ✨Douro valley tour w/ lunch, wine tasting & boat cruise ✨Try Port wine ✨Try Pastel de Nata . . . . . #Porto #PortoPortugal #PortugalTravel #PortugalTourism #SoloFemaleTravel #SoloFemaleTraveler #PastelDeNata #SaoBento #JardimDoMorro
Don’t abandon yourself in the process of finding belonging. Only your Creator deserves to be placed on a pedestal. . . . . . . #AuthenticityMatters #Belonging #SelfAcceptanceJourney #LovingYourself #SelfValidation #SelfAbandonment #HealthyRelationshipsMatter #CoreValues #Dealbreaker
Grief is the inevitable price we pay for love. Take your time as you ride the wave. . . . . #GriefJourney #Grief #Legacy #FathersLove #Storytelling #SpokenWord #HealYourself
Your joy is an act of resistance. When this picture was taken, I was blissfully enjoying my time in Europe. I intentionally left my work laptop at home - disconnected and allowed myself to be immersed in the experiences and cities. I also chose to forget that the last 6 months of the year had been a rollercoaster. And the keyword here is “chose”. It’s a choice to keep smiling despite oppression. It’s a choice to fight for your happiness when people try to break you down. It’s a choice to be courageous when the majority default to their comfort zone as bystanders. It hasn’t been easy. However it’s important to see an attack for what it is. Thieves don’t break into empty vaults. Attack is proof that you’re valuable and great things are coming your way. So don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or diminish your worth. Your power lies in your ability to maintain your joy and not succumb to the misery of others . Yes, these are hard times, but you owe it to yourself to fight. Don’t let anyone steal your joy. 📸 IG hubbies: German guys that invited me to party with them after I recommended they try pastel de nata (their first time apparently) . . . #LisbonPortugal #PracaDoComercio #EuropeTravels #SoloFemaleTraveler #BlackJoy #MentalHealthFirst #SacredRest #SelfLoveJourney #CourageOverComfort @visit.lisboa @visitportugal @portugal.explores
Have you ever had a moment where life hits you so hard that you’re destabilized? When the stable becomes unstable, and all that’s left from the carnage of betrayal and loss is deep melancholy. Typically a tried and tested way through is to eventually find meaning as you process the pain. But what if that also doesn’t work anymore? When your resilience seems to have lost its vigor and you feel like you’re drowning. That was most of my 2023. However, I’ve found that this is when the supernatural becomes significant. It’s lifted me out of the depths of darkness. Because only the light can astound the darkness and save. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot comprehend it (John 1:5). How is your 2024 starting out? #DivineProvidence #Healing #Toxic #Storytelling #Melancholy #SpiritualWarfare
Do you trust yourself? 🤔 The same way we trust others when they’ve shown us that they are trustworthy, is the same way we can learn to trust ourselves. It’s a muscle that needs to be strengthened overtime. The action(s) you take for every challenge you face can serve as evidence and help you become more confident in your abilities. Solo traveling ✈️ has helped me develop trust in myself and my abilities. When I’m in a new environment, I have to trust that I can figure out things on my own or know how to leverage the people/strangers around me to find a solution to problems that may arise. For example, when I sprained my ankle in Porto, the first thought that crossed my mind was whether I would still be able to enjoy my trip and do all the things I had in my itinerary. I decided to rephrase this setback as an opportunity to find creative ways💡to make the most of my trip despite my current state. So I canceled my walking tour and change it to a Tuk Tuk tour. It was a good way to see Porto without agitating my ankle too much. The tour included a boat cruise on the Douro river, and I also did not hesitate to ask strangers for help when I needed to find my way around or get in and out of the boat slowly. By trusting that I could make the most out of a bad situation, and also trusting in the kindness of humanity if I needed it, I was able to make the most of my time in Porto, as well as the remaining 5 weeks of my trip. PS. I also trusted my IG hubbies to come through. As you can see, they exceeded my expectations and gave me a WHOLE photoshoot experience 😆 📸 IG hubbies: TukTuk driver & fellow tourist from Lisbon . . . . . . . #VisitPorto #DouroRiver #TukTukTour #PortoPortugal #EuropeTravels #TravelFail #LemonsToLemonade #TrustYourself #TrustTheJourney #SoloFemaleTraveler #SoloFemaleTravel #WomenWhoTravelSolo #ConfidenceTips @visitporto @visitportugal @living.tours
A lot of people assume that a nice person is automatically a kind person. That’s not always true. It’s possible for a person to be “nice” but still be unkind. Niceness is almost akin to people pleasing. On a deeper level it may indicate that the person is willing to suppress their needs to be liked by others, even to the point of being inauthentic to others and themselves. Several studies have shown that this can lead to resentment and chronic illness over time. Furthermore, a hyper focus on niceness can sometimes make it hard to determine how authentic a relationship is or where you truly stand with a person. You see the mask they’re wearing, but not their true intentions. As Brene Brown brilliantly articulates: a kind person is clear - about their intentions and in their overall communication. The nice persona feeds half truths that cater to their own comfort vs conveying the truth. Now that I’m on my 30s, prioritizing kindness over niceness has brought me a lot of peace. This allows me to show up as my authentic self and attract like-minded humans that align with my values Thoughts? . . . . . #BeKindAlways #KindnessQuotes #Niceness #PeoplePleasing #AuthenticityMatters #AuthenticRelationships #ClarityIsPower #BreneBrownQuotes #RespectYourself #SelfLoveTips #ConfidenceTips
Are you addicted to being chosen? Sometimes we all need a reminder to always start with self acceptance. Don’t place anyone on a pedestal. Choose yourself first . . . . . . #SelfAcceptanceJourney #ValidateYourself #ExternalValidation #PeoplePleasing #ChooseYourself #DeepWork #HealYourself