Alex- Wandering Twenties

In an ideal world I’d live multiple lives, one as a single, high-powered business woman who lives and works in the city, one as a writer who backpacks her way around the globe, drinking in beach bars and having short but exciting relationships on every continent and one as an activist and campaigner who dedicates all her time to charity and one day settles down to have a couple of kids. I’m so consumed by the thought of what I want to do next that I’m not living enough in the present I think it stems from a constant pressure to be doing it all in early adulthood whilst you aren’t shackled to the demands of mortgages, children and pension pots, which are scary shadowed demons that creep into your mind every so often and are quickly waved away as a problem for later. as if as soon the moment you hit thirty the grim reaper knocks on the door and hands you a ticking clock, a bank loan, 10pm curfew and wrinkles to welcome in the new decade

a grieving for the old life of 12 months ago, passing through each of the five stages in roughly a 2-month incremental period: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Although it’s hard to think back to a time before words like, unprecedented, self-isolate, pandemic, stock-pile, lockdown and social distancing had entered our daily vocabulary, until March things were totally normal. I attended a dance competition that I had been practicing for months prior, it was a great success and despite the 4am alarm I was buzzing off the energy of the day and joined my friends on a fab night out afterward. At times, I will admit I felt like reverting back to toddler tantrums, stamping my feet and wailing that I couldn’t get my way, I couldn’t have what I want.