Mothers, Milk & Mental Health

John Bowlby studied how parents and children interact and develop relationships and how these relationships influence the children’s development. When your child is having a difficult time, having that difficulty recognised helps them to continue to face it. As parents, we can help develop our child’s sense of courage by supporting and validating them. This process of normalising experiences also helps them to self-determine when their experiences become distorted because they have open communication channels, free from judgment.

Sometimes people may be afraid that if they validate how someone is feeling, they will reinforce the feeling and make it stronger/worse. When a person is feeling down, these bonds are sometimes all that another person needs to begin to feel better and solve their own problems. Here are some simple examples of phrases you might use to validate someone when they talking to you and they are feeling upset, hurt, sad etc. Whether the person you are speaking with is your partner, your mother, your friend or your child, validation is an important and powerful tool we can use to feed that hunger for belonging.

I recently had the pleasure of attending a 4 day SOS Approach to Feeding workshop in Sydney, run by Dr Kay Toomey and Dr Erin Ross from the STAR Institute (a feeding disorders clinic in Colorado). SOS (Sequential-Oral-Sensory) Approach to Feeding is a transdisciplinary program for assessing and treating children with feeding difficulties and weight/growth problems. It’s important to note that the principles of SOS can be applied to any child who is seeing an SOS trained therapist however to be doing “the SOS feeding protocol” requires adherence to specific components of the program (this ensures consistency and treatment success that is proven with research). The SOS Approach to Feeding has a strong evidence-base both for short term gains but also evidence that indicates that treatment continues to generalise post therapy completion.

For them, postnatal depression looks more like this: One common but not often talked about symptom of perinatal mood disorders is rage. It’s normal to feel emotional or overwhelmed from time to time, but some people develop a more pronounced anxiety or lower mood (depression) which affects their daily functioning. The signs and symptoms of antenatal anxiety and depression can vary and may include: Panic attacks (a racing heart, palpitations, shortness of breath, shaking or feeling physically ‘detached’ from your surroundings) Persistent, generalised worry, often focused on fears for the health Having little or no interest in all the normal things that bring joy (like time with friends, exercise, eating, or sharing partner time) Sleeping too much or not sleeping very well at all Sleep problems unrelated to the baby’s needs Extreme lethargy: a feeling of being physically or emotionally overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of chores and looking after baby Fear of being alone with baby Intrusive thoughts of harm to yourself or baby Finding it difficult to focus, concentrate or remember (people with depression often describe this as a ‘brain fog’)