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The best kind of ridiculous.
That you should always try to finish what you've started, but sometimes it's okay to say fuck it, life's too short. That love will wrap you up like a soft blanket and keep you warm, even when it's dark and cold and your baby won't sleep and everything is horrible and you just want your mum and she's not there. That ducks go quack, and cows go moo, and how to be gentle and why you probably shouldn't eat things you find on the ground in the park. I had no idea how many things she'd taught me, until I had to start teaching them to somebody else.
Last year I talked about black humor and the impact of the common market on the European economy and Threw clever little cocktail parties in our discerningly eclectic living room With the Spanish rug and the hand-carved Chinese chest and the lucite chairs and Was occasionally hungered after by highly placed men in communications, but This year we have a nice baby I bought this slim volume of poetry from Persephone Books and devoured it as I sat on the sunny steps of St. Paul's, waiting for evensong. I can't say I've experienced much hungering from men in communications, but sitting in the sunshine and reading for pleasure, uninterrupted, was very nice indeed. The dark circles under my eyes were due not to a heady mixture of vermouth and rollerskates, but rather to a teething, insane, sleep-hating ten-month-old; and 2.
Her warmth, her humour, her ability to drink entire vats of white wine and never become obnoxious, all of these things made her a wonderful friend over her lifetime to so many people. One thing that stands out in my memory of her is that she always knew the right thing to say to friends during desperate times, and she was never too scared or shy to say it. I was really moved yesterday when I read about this a new collection of "empathy cards" from one of my favourite illustrators, Emily McDowell (she of the best motivational poster ever. The problem is that the fear of saying the wrong thing can lead to the conclusion that it's better to say nothing at all.