Reptiles

You won’t necessarily know it when you wake up. Maybe all you know is that you are going to try again today – to live, to be you as authentically as you know how, to get your needs met, to get through the day in one piece. By evening, that life – of scrabble, starvation, survival – has literally faded away, never to be seen or heard from again. Today is the day you will hear the sweetest words in the world, whispered in your exact direction…..

There is a reason shelled beings are so fascinating to beings who don’t have shells. When you have a shell right above your own head, you don’t have to worry about all kinds of things non-shelled beings have to deal with on a daily basis. But as the bonafide homebody that you are, it can take some extra brave to decide to come out. To come out and be in the world and mix and mingle and be seen and known and loved.

From the perspective of the paparazzi, being born covered in soft fetching feathers means you’ve got it made. Waffle-flavored snacks will pour from the sky (or at least from your personal Small Chef’s kitchen). Ladybirds will line up to repopulate the planet with baby cockatiel eggs that look just like you. She follows you around everywhere, snapping pics and filming videos and basically documenting every single breath you take, each one clearly cuter and more praiseworthy than the last.

As spring swings into full gear, things start to get competitive. After the long winter’s sleep, everyone is well rested (perhaps a little too well rested). You’ve checked and double checked and triple checked and all signs are go in the cuteness department. Then, right when the lady box turtle of your dreams appears, you make your entrance and sweep her off her feet.

As a shelled being, you may tend to stay fairly slow and low to the ground (on account of how short you are and how heavy your shell is). With so many flock mates from different species, figuring out who the “alpha” is can’t be about size, or height or even who has the cutest shell. You have to look more closely, see more keenly, to figure out who sits in the power seat. The best way to work this out is to look at the actual power seat and see who is sitting on it!

In any case, a muffin is always a good idea. And you look plump and perfect consuming them. Which is an important public service, on account of how your many fans and followers then get to bask in the cuteness glow you are radiating, thereby making them look cute by association. Which then makes the whole world a cuter place.

Many beings waste their rest time by, well, not resting. Luckily, as a shelled being, you come from a long and noble lineage of professional resters. It allows other beings, like your large shell-less waitress, to geolocate around you so they know exactly where to go every day to deliver your snacks. Most of all, resting consistently on a daily basis sends stress packing like nobody

As a gourmet connoisseur with feathers, it doesn’t take long to notice different diners have different rating systems. For example, your large featherless flock mates like to use stars. For example, why simply explain how good a dish tastes when you can demonstrate it! your large featherless waitress serves it to you nicely warmed and toasted just the way you like it.

But after you have been resting in place for awhile, it can start to get old. Neck pats are a great way to make sure your neck doesn’t get too cramped from all those naps you’ve been taking lately. Having your soft neck skin patted is also a great method for attracting self-esteem-raising compliments (which usually start the moment your large shell-less masseuse notices how cute you look having your neck pats). You can’t go wrong stockpiling some extra self-esteem.

Perils await right out of the starting gate ….at least if you happen to be one of the large featherless beings. When you are born covered in soft downy feathers, you already know all this, of course. That hectic daily pace is for others.