gracecoversme.com

The writer of Ecclesiastes describes our human pursuits carried out in human wisdom as an attempt to grasp vapor in our hands--it's foolish and futile. Human wisdom tells us we can figure out what God is doing from beginning to end and that we, in self-agency, can set our own agenda for how we'll use the skills we have. I can, but only when I do what I do for God, with God, and depending on God. " We can't improve on God's wisdom with our own: we'll only find purpose and satisfaction in our godly pursuits when suiting ourselves is not the end goal.

But then I turned back to my present moment, the very day I was going through old pictures, and I tried to wrap my mind around that day’s gifts: the already teenager and the almost teenagers, taking up more space in my home and heart, eating their way through life. I tried to squeeze every ounce of thankfulness from my heart regarding my husband and the state of our union, and I ticked through the church we planted, friends, extended family, our health, the opportunities and influence God’s given. I couldn’t enjoy today's moments like I could the past, because the present was so difficult to see without fear creeping in. We’re told by our culture, seemingly on repeat to live in the moment, to be present, and I know there is good in this charge, but living in the present and especially grasping what God is doing in the current moment is like looking through a glass, darkly (1 Corinthians 13:12).

For ten years, I've carried that dream--nurturing it, acting on it, supporting it, and giving myself away in order to see that dream become a reality. Our church is a beautiful testament to me of God's faithfulness and goodness. I've never stopped wanting the dream, because I liked who I've been in it, and I liked forging it into reality alongside my husband. I hold it, patiently waiting, for if it is implanted by God, he won't waste the dream or the passion behind it.

Instead of dictating to him how he should be honored, we will give ourselves to what he says are the most important things: receiving from him each day and letting his love and grace compel us to worship and to love and to serve with joy. Assured of God’s love, we are compelled by him to love others. Assured of God’s grace, we give grace to others, with the goal of unity rather than uniformity. We stand firm in grace’s freedom, where Christ is everything.