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There’s is not a day in my life when every piece of laundry is clean and folded and put away. When our aunt, who was visiting from New York for the weekend, watched him come down the stairs carefully balancing 50 tons of dirty clothes, she said she had never seen so much dirty laundry in her life. I went to work and left a pile to the ceiling of dirty laundry and sheets. I collected Mr. Gaga’s shirts and half of my dirty laundry and left on my front stoop Tuesday morning.

I decided to fire Mr. Gaga as Michael’s baseball coach this past fall. Said children do not respond appropriately to their father’s advice and coaching, and while other children can be seen excelling on the field the Gaga children can be found on the bench punished for “not listening” or “crying during a baseball game. Keep in mind, Mr. Gaga has been regularly telling me that both of my children should focus on math and reading because baseball is not their forte.’ I was confused as to why he magically got onto a team without a tryout since he was clearly not good at baseball. And plus don’t think I didn’t imagine the alternative, Michael growing up fat and listless wishing that his mother had let him play baseball.

As luck would have it, I am 100% Italian and Mr. Gaga is 100% Irish. Irish eyes are smiling: It’s good to be with someone who has a smiley face, like Mr. Gaga. When he’s out with friends or at work, he is “Mr. Personality”, shooting off one-liners and cracking jokes, and everyone thinks he’s a riot. They are very white: When you look like Snooki, you don’t expect to have to get involved with people who don’t like the sun.

I lured you in with that title – but I have no answers. I have told the story many times of the time I was in the grocery store with two babies