Lauren Lopez

But I’ve been reading a lot about gardening (because I’m somewhat new to the field) and I’ve read that if you leave the petals they will attract bugs,  mold or rot to the whole plant. Just like my dead rose heads, don’t be surprised if there are some petals trailing around your feet the next time you’re in a new situation or you find yourself exploring new ideas. So pick up the petals lovingly--thank them for their previous service, and then let them know it’s time to go. So when those petals creep around my feet, I will lovingly, and without judgement, pick them up and release them, knowing that I am clearing the ground for new growth in whatever form it takes.

Being treated with such kindness and love has allowed me to tap into my kind and loving self. People have been generous in finding ways to support me- from coming to my yoga classes, offering to grocery shop, sending me tickets to events (back when we could go to things). I will not for one moment say that I understand what it’s like to be a person of color in this country I cannot imagine what it’s like to live in a world where people think less of me based on skin.

I’m going to lump both of Dr Gazzaniga’s books together and say- for a neuroscientist this man can write and has a sense of humor. But what’s interesting is figuring out how the brain copes with this and the stories the brain creates to make sense of things even when they don’t make sense. If you’ve read Toni Morrison you’ll really appreciate this book, but even if you haven’t, I recommend reading this. If you’ve never read it- read it!

None Ten minutes after I arrived home from my tests, my doctor called to say my liver was in acute distress and that I needed to be admitted to the hospital through the ER. They let me know that they were working to get rapid results testing at the hospital and hoped we’d know for sure later in the day. After three terrifying days of isolation, being completely dependent on others, all I wanted was to get away from this nightmare, the other sick people, and this hospital that no longer felt safe. When I finally felt like I had scraped all of the fear, COVID and uncertainty off, I collapsed into bed and felt something like shock kick in.