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You’ll learn, for example, that the gym is a place where you can seemingly break wind with total impunity. You’ll learn to avoid peak times where the gym floor resembles a flock of seagulls going mental over a dropped ice cream. So, if you’re new to lifting weights and want to avoid committing any faux pas that will land you in hot water, here is a collection of common phrases which we have kindly decoded for you You’re quite clearly not using this, I’m merely feigning politeness, so please get off your phone and move before I lodge this bottle of Lucozade Sport so far up your rectum you’ll be shitting electrolytes for the next six months.

While we’re not sure of the muscle building benefits of MuscleMeds Carnivor compared to whey, it’s certainly a good option for those with intolerances to dairy, and is really high in protein. While we’re not sure of the muscle building benefits of MuscleMeds Carnivor compared to whey, it’s certainly a good option for those with intolerances to dairy, and is really high in protein. Simply Googling “beef protein isolate” presents a huge number of articles on “the real truth about beef isolate” a.k.a “beef isolate is made from hooves” a.k.a “how beef isolate will literally turn you into a grass fed cow and you’ll be eaten by a crossfitter”. While we’re not sure of the muscle building benefits of MuscleMeds Carnivor compared to whey, it’s certainly a good option for those with intolerances to dairy, and is really high in protein.

Find the wrong one and you’ll miss out on one of the only meaningful relationships you’ll ever truly have – not to mention risk waking up one morning to find a stranger’s rectum clamped over your mouth like the facehugger from Alien (“gym buddy Not only would having Maximus as a gym buddy elevate your social standing, but his antics would make for great after-dinner speech material: “One time one of the regulars started taunting Maximus about his dead wife so Maximus responded by caving his cranium in with a 50kg dumbbell, you really had to be there”. A good gym buddy should also be a good wing man, and who better to have by your side when chatting to the opposite sex than Lord Byron, the wild-child Romantic poet with a club foot and a penchant for fucking everything that moves. This is an essential trait in a gym buddy, as you want someone to push you in new directions and bring variety to your regimen, and who better to have as your ideas man than the greatest theoretical physicist of all time.

Not only that, but the addition of cellular connectivity on the Apple Watch Series 3 means you can now use the device to track activity without the need of your phone (we’re yet to think of a use for this outside of surfing, but hey, still cool). This makes the watch a device that’s ingrained right into your daily life and actually provides a useful heart rate statistic you can access easily from Apple Health at any time. The Apple Watch pairing process is ridiculously simple and quite cool, and once done you no longer have to worry about it, it’ll just gather health data all day long as long as you’re wearing it. With the Apple Watch Series 3 and Watch OS 4, we are seeing Apple make a bold statement about the role they want to play in your health.