caregiverwarrior.com
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A community for people who care for others. Founded by caregiver, author, and coach Susanne White to help those Caregiver Warriors care for themselves.
When I was taking care of my parents, I was usually focused on doing everything I could to make them feel better and healthier. Part of me lived in denial about the seriousness of their illnesses which inspired me to see them getting better, not worse
The remarkable thing about the journey of caregiving is that it can also be the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. While I always encourage caregivers to do everything they can to stay in or get to their happy place the reality is that we don’t learn or grow while we are in our happy place. So while I wish everyone a permanent stay in their happy place, I know that isn’t possible. If you can see the rough patch you are going through as an opportunity to be stronger and wiser rather than a curse, the happy place just might be a little easier to get to when the sun comes out.
I can’t stop being triggered or having my buttons pushed but I can respond rather than react and be easier on myself and everyone else. I would never suggest walking away from a situation that would leave someone we care for in danger, but in general, if we can take a time out and regroup we will always feel better, faster. I don’t ever think out triggers go away, but I believe we can cope with and handle our reactions in a way that will make it easier on ourselves. We can find new tools that work for us and new conversations we can have with ourselves if we begin to understand why that comment made us so mad or wounded us or why we took that so personally when in fact our loved one is probably not meaning to be nasty or angry with us
My Dad always looked forward to social situations and my Mom had picked up on his enthusiasm and since she loved her church and Father Anthony she agreed to go. When I arrived at the festivities, my parents were sitting together with all their friends, my Dad chatting away and my Mom sitting next to her best friend (another angel on earth) taking it all in. We sat and socialized for a bit, then I went to get the famous spaghetti for my Mom and Dad. I quietly told the table that Mom wasn’t feeling well and we would be going.