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(I’ve been so bad at it for months and months and months) and It’s been so fruitful. And I am sure some people live in more rural areas where there are country roads so it isn’t quite what I am imagining as someone who lives in Chicago. It’s all the little operational things. It’s finding out from the location how long the aisle is via email so then I can call the florist and tell her.

This year, not unlike last year, I have found surprising comfort in Christmas traditions including making the Christmas List. I love giving gifts so much and in my family, we are really asked to provide what we’d like within certain budgets for different people. They also now have another kit option with this and their vitamin c treatment that I love, love, love for skin brightening (The kit is called Pretty Bright Thing so…). I don’t think there’s any question that I love this candle.

So much so that one of my bridesmaid’s asked me if she could wear leopard shoes in my honor. I don’t see the correlation except maybe that Jersey Shore was on at the time and when leopard is done wrong, it is so very wrong? It’s a pump heel so that’s also comfortable and they are gorgeous. It’s been years and years since I found a leopard shoe that I could truly get behind.

But, man, I wish I had the words to explain how hard I have prayed for help to love people who loudly profess ideas and ways of thinking that are hurtful to me, hurtful to other people I love, and so hurtful and destructive to whole groups of people. It’s also meant admitting, “I don’t know” to questions and problems. Just like I can’t get past the incredibly tough stuff, I can’t get past God’s benevolence to me. That isn’t to say I don’t speak or use my voice, I just didn’t and don’t know how to do it here, in this space.