Zamantungwa Nxumalo
Score (What’s this?)
Perlu Network score measures the extent of a member’s network on Perlu based on their connections, Packs, and Collab activity.
Pulse (What’s this?)
Perlu Pulse score measures how active a member is on Perlu, on a scale of 0 to 100.
I have been dreading going to the hospital because I’m freaked out by COVID-19 but I couldn’t cope any more I finally went for an abdominal examination, and as I suspected they confirmed I have cysts (2) on my left ovary (they’re returning for the third time now), sadikwe ☹️. On the bright side, they said the cysts are just simple cysts meaning they aren’t cancerous or anything hectic like that (hallelujah!). I’m probably gonna be present here a lot because this space understands my complaints about whatever pains I go through better.
Unable to eat or even drink water because before surgery they found out I had a throat situation that got worse during and after surgery. As much as I found it so difficult to pray, somewhere in me I sent mental notes to God, begging Him to make everything stop and let me be okay again. At this point and time I’m learning to trust God’s timing and process. I’m learning to allow His will to unfold before me while asking for guidance and wisdom from Him.
yesterday afternoon I took a walk with my daughter, I bumped into a group of ladies I attended primary with (one of them used to bully me so much bc how dark I am), that very same one made a comment about how I’m not supposed to love someone else At that moment I was like ah whatever, got home & , asked God to not let this bother me or sink in my mind. I’ve already lost a child due to a weak cervix, half of that cervix had to be removed due to cancer, I’ve known what she was telling me for quite sometime, I’m still trying to live and accept it as is, and she feels the need to tell me it’s all because I love somebody else I’m not asking anyone to start caring about people they’ve never felt the need to care for but, a little kindness won’t kill.
I was a tear river those days, I’d wake up and cry until I fall asleep again, because of the pain I couldn’t bear. I’d cry from seeing how fat my face looked bc of all the crying I did, it was messy, really messy. (I later learnt she wanted me to distract myself from the swollen face that made me so upset) for those days, and they’d take it off at night with Also, I don’t think I’d ever find the words to describe my gratitude for the support that flooded my life throughout the whole cancer fight I had to endure.