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Nancy is 5 months old today! Time seems to have done a number on me and this month it has felt quite a bit longer…but then this month she has apparently been starving and woken 3, 4 or more times a night to manically feed. Every night

It’s turned into a mammoth one about finding purpose, moving on after another ‘failure’ (although I’m still having insomniac moments as I wait for the loose ends to be tied up) and working out what meaning truly is for me. My body isn’t a dream one but it’s a very good one that’s served me well, and I’m enjoying the process of getting in shape. I saw Music and Lyrics literally on my own; I had the cinema to myself) and I’ve realised it’s because I find birthdays like a portal in time going from birth up to death – each day linked to the other for all eternity! In Steven Pressfield’s book, The Artist’s Journey, he calls it our Daemon – a thing that we cannot control that makes us do often crazy things.

It’s been a bit of a tricky month, with her fully embracing the 4 month sleep regression. Because I’ve started exercising again I find I get to sleep easier and sleep deeper when I do sleep. A little bit of quiet time to read and write is heaven to me (I’ve realised since stopping drinking 18 months ago and getting a bit older that I’m actually an introvert and crave alone time to mull things over). I’ve noticed a real change in her development this month as she’s found her feet

Hurray! It’s Saturday. It’s actually 8