imahorriblemomandyouaretoo.com

When I read Hilaria Baldwin’s instagram post about her miscarriage, I was shocked at her vulnerability. Why isn’t supporting someone through such an event an innate, human response? Why shouldn’t women feel that they are warranted some semblance of empathy? For ways to support those who miscarry, visit https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-loss/supporting-others/.

I understand that I’m the one carrying the baby, I feel nauseated every day, I get the stretch marks, I get to push the baby out or have her removed from me. My husband, while not the one carrying the baby, carries many of the extra burdens because I just can’t do them anymore. He drives me to the hospital when I can’t feel the baby kick. He reminds me of the family and support team I have when work, school, pregnancy, motherhood, and overall life get too hard to handle.

It’s okay that laundry hasn’t been done in a week, two weeks, three weeks (as long as y’all have some clothes to wear It’s okay to need help and not feel guilty. It’s also okay to seek professional help if you need it, too. This is a start, but know that it’s okay to take time for self-care that isn’t hiding away somewhere.

What I do think is a little crazy is, now that we know we’re having a girl I feel sorry that they don’t understand that bond between sisters. I feel sorry that they don’t understand how integral having those shoulders to cry on or those secret talks about boys or sharing those fears about my own children are. I feel sorry that they don’t immediately understand the friendship between sisters and the overwhelming sense of love we have.