Stephanie Yoon

Countless days of studying for standardized tests, working through the most difficult semesters of high school (junior spring + senior fall), applying for college, and struggling to resolve family matters took a tremendous toll on my wellbeing. But, highs always come with lows, and as I scrolled through my camera roll at all of my pictures from the past year, I know that there is much to be thankful for. And of course, indulging in lots of food… Thank you, 2018, for all of the struggles and new experiences! But I know from experience that diet is the single most important factor in a healthy lifestyle, and these are my food goals for 2019… Break the habit of eating past 8pm!

My eating disorder at the time was a coping mechanism for me to control something of my life. In the thick of my eating disorder, when I realized that I needed to get better, my eating disorder gave me a chance to reflect on my life. But I never wanted to relive through that traumatic experience I had from my eating disorder in other aspects in life. Much like my eating disorder recovery, I’ve learned how to handle and control my Type-A, perfectionist thoughts.

As easy it is to look up online on what to eat, how to exercise, how to live (and if you think about it, that’s essentially what you’re looking up), I’ve learned that every body and mind is different. It’s really frustrating to hear that – especially when we have so many seemingly helpful resources and also a bombardment of lifestyle pictures, it is very easy to fall in the trap of imposing someone else’s “healthy” onto you. Your preferences and decisions need to work with your lifestyle – not some 20 year old who lives in NYC and has the money to buy expensive vegan food and do private workouts because they are all influencers trying to unrealistically influence you to live a certain way. What I’ve learned: I don’t do well with dairy, I cannot wait to eat until my stomach is starving: or else, I get a huge stomachache, I cannot eat that much for breakfast, I need to eat simple carbs when I’m in huge anxiety mode.

I knew when I first read that prompt, I knew that “healthy” was definitely NOT one of my favorites. I was told to reach a “healthy” weight, told to eat a “healthy” diet, to exercise in a “healthy” way, to have a “healthy” relationship with my food. For as long as I remember, “healthy” has been characterized as having a lean physique, always going to the gym (preferably a SoulCycle, boxing, or HIIT workout), eating big green/grain/veggie bowls, and doing daily morning meditations. And wellness lets me focus on maximizing those feeling great moments whereas healthy would automatically label a burger as unhealthy.