Love Thinks

And, don’t get me wrong, these are wonderful tendencies but too much too soon is setting you up to be potentially over-invested in the relationship before you’ve really given yourself time to get to know a partner. If there isn’t a balance of give and take and you aren’t seeing mutuality, it’s time to revisit your relationship status or at the very least how much you want to continue to give. Here’s my main point: Take your time in relationships to really vet out your partner and vet out your own issues around giving. It can be easy to say you are just being a good partner or that you partner just really appreciates how you meet all their needs, but make sure the person you are with is meeting your needs too.

Or maybe those words live on the tip of your tongue, but you just don’t feel like dealing with the spiral downward into the argument abyss, so you never say what is on your heart. So, when you need to talk to your partner about an issue, it doesn’t mean that he or she is a bad partner or that your partner is doing a bad job, it means that you are in a NORMAL relationship that requires some maintenance. It’s totally acceptable to give an example, and even recommendable to have an example already in mind, but don’t get sidetracked into arguing the details of that example. So, handle it like this, “I don’t want to argue every example because I am sure there are reasons for why you did or said _______________.