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There is no shame in pain. There should be no guilt either. We all have experiences and a story to tell. Sharing these experiences helps reduce stigma.
And that caused more vertigo, vomiting, more fibromyalgia pain and flaring. People know of it and know a few things about it so it is easier to explain that you can’t do something or need to pace or can’t do an event. And it is difficult for me to do things. And I don’t want to get into the slippery slope of overthinking because that leads to a definite mood drop, so I have been conscious of my thinking.
And I think somewhere after my suicide attempt I realized I couldn’t just ‘push through’ and force myself to function without massive, deep, horrific consequences. And I knew I shouldn’t be working at all. And I couldn’t function at All. It isn’t like pain… where you shouldn’t push through but you make yourself.
It is worrying about the great Unknown when you have no idea if you should worry or worry More. And why worry about something before you actually have to worry about something. And sleep has been an issue between the vertigo and the ripped muscle I have from my last vertigo fall. It just isn’t okay to excessively worry when we have no information yet.
And this isn’t a surprise. And over the last month, I have slowly done the best I can given everything makes the vertigo worse and requires a long rest after. And you don’t need to every day for cleaning those things neglected over the winter anyway. And I didn’t clean every day of the week for sure.