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If so, chances are your kid is suffering from a widespread kid epidemic called: “Hooked on Rewards. Using these parenting secrets will help you wean your child from expecting rewards and realize they should do a job well done because it’s just the right thing to do. (And do emphasize the child’s effort — not the end product, score, or grade… doing so is a proven parenting practice that nurtures not only inner motivation but also good old GRIT! ) You may appreciate the sections on how to help kids develop caring mindsets and how to use praise the right way (based on research) to reap a caring, internally-motivated child.

This is also a time of year when parents often overlook a few important aspects of their children’s school experience that can greatly impact learning success. That’s why now is the ideal time to do a mid-year check up with your child’s progress, identify potential problems and resolve them so you make the remainder of your child’s school year go far smoother and not be caught off-guard. Parent Check-In: Make sure you recheck the teacher’s website for your child’s current grades and test scores. Identify what’s triggering the stress, reduce those triggers that you can (like that difficult of a math class). ~ Consider yoga, exercise or healthy ways to help your child learn to decompress ~ Check your family home climate to make sure it allows “downtime” and a supportive environment for your child ~ Decide if the AP class really is worth it; can you cut one activity (see above) or get a tutor to help the child? ~

Here are signs to watch for: ~ Always comparing themselves to others; can’t stand coming in second place or doing worse than others; wants to be the best and anything less not good enough ~ Migraines or headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping, or other physical ailments before, after, or during a performance ~ Too cautious about trying something new that may be outside of his area of expertise and mean he may not excel ~ May put others down. All in an effort to be their best and make the other person feel less perfect – or inadequate ~ May put the same high standards on others ~ Worrying it won’t be good enough; or fears failure. Avoids difficult or stressful tasks; leaves work unfinished out of fear it won’t be perfect ~ Concentrates on the mistake instead of the overall job or how well he performed ~ Way too hard on himself; can’t laugh at himself or his own mistakes Here are a few tidbits of proven parenting advice from my book to help you help your child survive, cope and thrive in this wonderful world.

and it’s written by one of my favorite children’s authors, Trudy Ludwig. It doesn’t do me or my children any good when I keep bringing up the problem they’re having if I don’t offer to brainstorm with them some possible solutions. I’ve also learned that when I ask for support from my children—whether it’s doing extra chores around the home, or helping me in my effort to help others—it makes those difficult times more bearable for us all. Trudy Ludwig is a nationally renowned speaker and bestselling author of children’s books that help kids connect and engage with their peers in kind, caring ways.