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I hadn’t gone on a solo trip in four years, and hadn’t been to Voodoo Fest since I was in my early 20’s. It first made me feel old, and not just because three days of braving mud and people and expensive carnival food isn’t quite my cup of tea anymore. It’s also not so lonely or sad to see a world beyond yourself and a world within yourself and accept that they often aren’t going to be the same world. And if you already feel like your childhood never happened and this loss was never sorted out, then you don’t feel ready for a prime.

I realize that to be a good writer you have to be a good reader and get some practice as a philosopher and an editor and learn to understand the rules and then break them in the way that your heart is broken and build them up in the places your hopes and dreams are. You have to be able to use cliches and familiar references only enough to introduce new connections that didn’t exist before. Then once you’ve got that pulled together you have to find new ways of incorporating stuff you have learned into what you already knew and talked about, and revising it daily. And instead I am like Harold and the Purple Crayon, both on a mysterious journey and writing a familiar journey.

I won’t throw a first punch, but I sure as heck won’t hesitate to throw the second one. This is partially because I know some people (usually people broken and never repaired in their formative years) only respect power, and you have to deal with those people from time to time, same as any other, and speak their language. While being careful not to find someone else who it is easier to take your aggression out on as a surrogate – something unfortunately done way too easily and by far many people – you will feel the need to get out there and throw the second punch. When you get it out of your nervous system like that you won’t remember it as trauma done to you, a shame or heavyness pushing you down (often symptoms people feel with depression or anxiety).

I’ve heard a number of people claiming that Supreme Court nominee judge Kavanaugh’s recent claim of virginity in the face of sexual assault allegations is laughable or irrelevant. I think it is not