contemplatingcancer.com

You won’t want to eat, you’ll be in the hospital, and you’ll have to face the uncertainty of whether you will live or die. They’ve probably seen family members, friends, or neighbors go through it, so they think they know what to expect. Maybe you miss holding him close, or maybe you don’t miss it at all, and that makes you feel guilty. Maybe it’s one of these things, or maybe it’s something totally different.

You could barely move down the hall without a cane, and you needed my help to get up from bed. But usually, I didn’t want to, and it didn’t feel right. You loved our little family more than anything in the world, and I knew you didn’t want to leave us behind. You read a book to your son and made up a story when you couldn’t see.

They Said to Go Home They said the scans look fine, your body will recover, you don’t need to be here anymore. They said, “we don’t know if it will come back, but it very well might. They said to go home, so we tried to go home, but it didn’t feel like home.

I can’t get over the fear that entered my heart when I first wondered if it was cancer. I can’t get over the nightmare I lived when we heard the three dreaded words, “you have cancer. I can’t get over the soul-crushing look in his eyes when his pain was too much to bear. I don’t want to fall, and I don’t want to fail.