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an series of uncensored accounts of what happens when you have a 9lb baby who won’t latch, won’t stop crying, won’t stop vomiting and how to deal with the exhaustion, boredom and disenchantment that is part and parcel of the fourth trimester. Cutting a long story short all attempts at a drug free birth went out the window, mainly looking back because I wasn’t admitted to the birth centre until I’d got to 7cm dilation. I could feel the contractions for the full two hours and 15 minutes that I was going and it certainly wasn’t ‘pain free’ as the epidural wears off, which I hadn’t entirely realized. I know those two hours were hard and that the baby’s heartbeat dropped a couple of times, but I can’t really say much more than that because truly I can’t remember it.

Beforehand I’d factored a possibility that I would have a post birth issue, like a haemorrhage, but it hadn’t occurred to me that once we’d left the hospital, the baby would. As my milk hadn’t come in yet (it came in the morning of day 4), I couldn’t initially pump and though I tried to hand express the colostrum, I couldn’t collect anything Within 72 hours I’d already fed my baby formula and I felt that I’d completely and utterly fucked the whole thing up. Within 72 hours I’d already fed my baby formula and I felt that I’d completely and utterly fucked the whole thing up.

One of the hardest things I’ve found is when ‘real life’ invades into the new motherhood bubble and you feel expected to look and behave how you used to, even though the context of your life has so completely changed. So, when Clairol got in touch to ask me to be part of their new confidence building programme, celebrating the launch of the new Nice ‘n Easy hair colour with new damage control technology, it reminded me of all the times that I’d dyed my own hair in the past, emerging from the bathroom with just a little more spring in my step. Of course, you know it’s going to take a while to get back into shape (or more likely settle into your new shape) and there are things about the way you look and feel that may never go back to how it was before you had a baby. One of the big selling points of Nice ‘n Easy  is the effort that’s gone into making sure there’s conditioner at every stage and the addition of new damage blocking technology which meant that my hair wasn’t going to be left looking as frazzled as I feel at the 4am feed.

However, over the years I’ve started to realise that the brand shiny new outfit that you just had to have for a specific event isn’t always the best wardrobe investment…. Of course, there are always going to be designated events and milestones that you have to buy a dress for—I’m not suggesting that you spin a reissue for your wedding day or similar—however, pressure purchasing rarely results in a style home run. The older I get the more I appreciate the power of a truly timeless buy and the less inclined I am to buy anything for one occasion and one occasion only. The brand is synonymous with the Great British Summer and all the racing/boating/wedding events of the warm weather months—basically if there’s a combination of champagne and grass, you’ll find LKB.