Franchesca Cox

I’ve heard the sayings, “You’ll look back at that time in your life and think about all of the lessons you learned.”That’s not you and me; I’m not ready to make friends yet. You make my face into a mask day after day so that I can keep going. With every week holding you becomes heavier and heavier, each day slinging you onto my back until a day when I can’t do it. He’s gone, your baby, gone.”I feel you day by day getting heavier and heavier.

In today’s society, it is especially difficult for men in grief to grieve openly, caught in a catch 22 of how to express the deep pain they are experiencing yet not show weakness. Men don’t cry; men do not emote, men do not hug (maybe at the funeral) men don’t go to support groups, men don’t call in sick because they are screaming inside, we are the man of the family. The irony of this is if he does emote and the family has never seen this behavior, it can be taken as a sign of weakness and the spouse and other family members may feel they have lost their safety net, their rock of support, and feel even more helpless and rudderless on an already difficult journey. Grief is hard work but finding joy again is our birthright and worth the effort, so keep on keeping on.——- About the Author: Mitch Carmody is an author, artist and motivational speaker who has been serving the bereaved for over 30 years since the death of son Kelly James.

Within the time span of one year, I will have held my 3-year-old son for the last time and welcomed his baby sister into the world, holding her for the first time. Of course, this new baby doesn’t replace the one they lost… but logic proves they wouldn’t have this child unless they had lost the other. I Wish People Knew About Grieving The Loss Of A ChildBut, now I know a new baby after child loss is never simple, never black and white. This baby is not “instead of” Levi, and I have struggled with the reality she is “because” Levi died.

Planning Beatrice’s funeral was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever had to do because I wanted it to be heartfelt and special I’ve written this post as a guide in planning your baby’s funeral, so hopefully, it will provide a few suggestions for anyone who is also lost and confused, but desperate to ensure their baby’s service is unique. Although I thought I would have liked to have friends there for support and to share Beatrice with (as this is what we would have wanted had she survived), we didn’t think we would be able to cope with having lots of people around on the day. Beatrice’s funeral fell on the final day of baby loss awareness week, and so we gave everyone a tea light with their order of service and asked them to light this on the evening to remember Beatrice and all other babies lost too soon.