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The time for me to bid goodbye to my sponsors has come. I wasn’t looking forward to this but I know that one day it has to be done

I’ve been back in Singapore for about 2 weeks now. I must say that the first week back was pretty rough

Parting ways with rowing is like separating from a long-term boyfriend whom I was madly in love with, given up my life for but had to let go because, because we both simply grew out of love. these days when I wake up having to answer to absolutely no-one, having the ridiculous luxury to plan my own day, these are the days that I will need to treasure, hold so close, remember every moment when I sit on the sofa at home in the middle of the day with the Playstation controller in my hand, these are the days that will be gone soon. whenever real life starts (whatever “real life” means). but I was so obsessed with rowing that life outside of rowing

Because next thing you know, Ross appeared in my life and now I’m engaged with Ross. I never thought I would ever get married and when the topic comes into our conversations, I got excited at first but slowly it started to eat me up because I was consumed by the idea that I need to find the perfect one if he’s going to be the one I’m spending the rest of my life with. He may not be able to fathom the depth of what me and Rob really went through but knowing that I broke a guy’s heart because I was so confused (and cruel, I feel) and that he is still willing to propose to me and put a ring on my finger tells me that I don’t have to worry on whether he’s the one or not. I don’t regret leaving Rob because if I didn’t I wouldn’t have found Ross but that doesn’t mean I didn’t loved Rob when I was with him.