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This resulted in the development of my unique divorce counseling process, which has helped countless people to move beyond their grief and to build a secure identity as a single person. Healing from a divorce is a three-step process; one must grieve their loss; they must create an identity as a non-partnered person; and they need to learn a new relationship model so they will avoid previous relationship pitfalls. : In order to fully understand why your marriage collapsed, you must be helped to step back in time, not to the beginning of the marriage but to early childhood when you were taught how to empathize, love, share, comfort control aggression and to otherwise form healthy relationships. Divorce counseling will help you to take ownership of the Self you relinquished in your marriage and gain the skills for new and healthy partnering.

No matter how good looking you are, how much money you make or how accomplished you are, self-doubt or low self-esteem can set in after a divorce and rob you of your feelings of self-worth. If you are having difficulty focusing at work, giving your full attention to your children, or participating in friendships, the pain you feel over your divorce may be drowning out important aspects of your life. A skilled counselor can help you identify your compulsive behavior and, if necessary, refer you to a specialist who can help “wean” you. No matter which of the above warning signs you may be experiencing, a good point of reference is this: If you are questioning whether or not you need counseling, you probably do.

When the mental health aspects are severe, the attorney will refer the client to a mental health therapist. The views can range from the attorney measuring the legal feasibility of doing what the client wants without paying attention to (or feeling poorly equipped to handle) the psychological and interpersonal issues in divorce, to an assumption that the legal aspects of a divorce situation can be adequately dealt with only if the emotional aspects and need to understand the client are engaged by the lawyer. As such, it is important that Collaborative attorneys inform their clients about the available services of divorce coaches (members of the Collaborative team) and mental health professionals(independent of the Collaborative team) so that they can serve as resources when needed. Building interprofessional alliances and networks of communication and developing mutual trust between lawyers and mental health experts (divorce coaches and mental health therapists) will inevitably contribute to their shared vision of working in the best interests of divorcing families.